So, it's confession time. The real reason I asked for advice with my rejection therapy projects, which you will see on day 20 below, is because I realized that I was not really putting my "all" into the project. Instead, I was taking snow days and sending requests from home, taking it easy and doing a simple project when I really felt called to do a more challenging one, and in the end I just basically felt like giving up. I am, however, ready to turn over a new leaf. I am going to actively ask myself to step up my game, and I hope that you will challenge me to do the same! Day 19 - send "will you be my friend notes" to 3 people: Do you remember how, in grade school, we actually asked permission to be someone's friend? How admirable, raw, and honest this was. Do you have people in your life, like I do, whom you think would make great friends, but now that you are an adult it is a lot harder to take that first step? I decided to overcome my vulnerability, and it went a little something like this: step 1) choose 3 people with whom I would like to be friends, step 2) write those people notes bravely asking them to be my friend, and step 3) become friends and live in a perfect world...or, at least this is how it went in my head. This is how it went in real life: step 1) choose 2 people with whom I would like to be friends, step 2) start writing a 'will you be my friend note' to the first person, step 3) use excuse that I only have "thank you notes" to write a thank you note instead, step 4) justify it by telling myself that the real reason I am thanking them and not asking them to be my friend is because I want to send plain and simple thank you notes, no strings attached, step 5) repeat step 4 with the second note, and then just choose a third person to whom I would only write a thank you note, based on the already mentioned justification in step 4. Lesson 19: If I want to be honest with others, I have to first be honest with myself. Day 20 - ask for help with more ideas: This step started out well, in theory. I was being honest and owning up to the fact that I only had so many ideas and that it takes a village...to support each other and encourage each other on our journey. However, in full transparency, I stayed at home too long and felt like just finishing the chapter of the book I was reading and going to bed instead of venturing out to whip up a rejection therapy project. While I did push myself to write the request, in full and total honesty, if I had gotten out of the house and done a rejection therapy project, I would have felt much better about myself because I was making a promise to myself and following through on that promise. Lesson 20: Once I start slacking off, it can be a slow fade, and the further I slide, the harder it is to climb back up! Day 21 - give coffee to someone on the street: I honestly thought, at this point, if I buy coffee for anyone, I it will be an improvement over the first two days in this series. With this low bar set, I went into my first coffee shop while I was waiting for a meeting, and began to take the easy way out. Since I did not find anyone who was cold and could really use the warmth, I simply purchased my own tea and hung out until it was time for the meeting. After the meeting, I went to my second coffee shop, thinking that I would pass someone along the way who could use my help. Although I did pass quite a few people by another coffee shop, I had my sights set on checking out a newly renovated shop, so I continued on. When I reached the new shop, I saw no one within close proximity who needed my help, so I left and went to buy a few groceries for the night. After completing my grocery shopping, I went to a local gas station and picked up a cup of coffee, driving a full circle back by the initial store to look for someone to give it to, and ended up finally finding an individual on a bicycle who looked like he could use a warm drink on a cold night. I had to drive a bit more to track him down, and in the end I offered it to him and a woman walking her dog, he accepted, and I was happy that I was able to complete my task while making someone smile. Lesson 21: Follow my first impulse to do what is good at the highest level, and it will prevent me from almost running over a cyclist trying to "help" him.
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AuthorValerie Ellis, who is in alignment with the Black Lives Matter Movement and everyone whose life is impacted, now or before, by times of social injustice. Archives
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