This post is not easy for me to write, but it is real. I can't help but dwell on the fact that God gives us obstacles to help us grow. Over ten years ago, I was training for my second marathon. I was in the best shape of my life. I could easily down a pint of Ben n' Jerry's ice cream and not be negatively effected, because I was burning way more calories than I was consuming. However, if I had a run the next morning, I would not drink any alcohol, because I knew it would make me feel sluggish. My body, mind, and emotions were all in equilibrium.
Fast forward ten years. Although I was making the most important decision of my life, to finally follow God's call for me to mission, my life was not in balance. I had not worked out regularly since a car accident five years before, my mind was not being challenged, and although I was at peace spiritually, my emotions were a wreck. Although I preached the precedent of living life minimalistically, and I did so on many levels, a life of excess was starting to creep in without my consciously knowing it. I gave lip service to the fact that when I did not have an upcoming physical fitness goal like a race, I followed up by also not eating well, because there was not a pressing enough reason to do so. My competitive nature, however, during training for a 5K, 10K, triathlon, or marathon had always kept me in check before. When I started to feel like my body was headed in the wrong direction, my friends and I would sign up for a race, and I would have my next goal. After my car accident, however, I was strongly counseled against running for two years. If I could turn back time, I would have ignored that advice and kept my body in motion. What followed was a series of years in which I 1) stubbornly refused to work out at all if I couldn't run 2) tried to rehabilitate myself too little, too late 3) participated in easier races in which I really didn't have to train, and finally... 4) overtrained for a Ragnar Relay and injured myself further. This took me into my formation program with Franciscan Mission Service (FMS). To top things off in the area of physical health, I was living in the FMS house with twelve other people, and we were making joint decisions on grocery purchases with an extremely limited budget. Of course, some of the first things to go in an expensive city like Washington, D.C. were healthier (read: more expensive) food options. While this worked for me in college when I was in my twenties (and to their credit, I was sharing a house with a good number of "twenty-somethings"), it did not do wonders for me physically in D.C. We were fortunate enough to receive donations from places like Miriam's Kitchen when they couldn't use all the food donations they received (read: sweets). We also jokingly referred to ourselves as home-school students, because our classes were in the house where we lived, which meant all of our breaks were spent in the kitchen. With an intensely jam-packed schedule, I found plenty of reasons (read: excuses) not to work out. Although it was easy for me to turn down cake and ice cream for birthday celebrations at work when I was training for an upcoming race, I freely shared not only in the celebrations, but also in double servings of ice cream in the FMS house. And where am I on mission? In Latin America, in a culture where sharing food is synonymous with breaking down all other barriers, and as common throughout the day as eating (or skipping) lunch hurriedly at your desk in the United States. And talk about food...silpancho, salteñas, fried yucca, arroz con queso, humintas, buñuelos, dulce de leche cakes, and heladerias (ice cream shops) on every corner in the city center. What is missing from this list? Lettuce, fresh fruits, and vegetables...which bring concerns of parasites and amoebas, unless they are peeled and/or cooked, hence loosing some of their nutritional value. And they are really expensive. What has allowed me to abandon this eating lifestyle? Amoebas, SIBO, gastritis, and lastly duodenitis. In Spanish, I can use the expression "estoy delicada," to explain that I have a weak stomach and therefore cannot participate in the fifth cake offer of the day! And what has driven me to start working out again? My stomach struggling to process food quickly enough, and a lack of overall energy stemming from my current vitamin deficiencies (produced by illness and diet restrictions). It's funny how things somehow work out, in the way you least expect them to. I was thinking the past couple of days about how happy I am...in fact, I started singing along to "Happy" the other day in a trufi on my way to Chilimarca. I realized that not only am I finally starting to recognize my body again, but I am also eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and following God's call in my life. In addition, I have been emotionally blessed to realize how much support and love I have in my home country by the way you have reached out through emails, cards, and care packages. It took me going all the way to Bolivia, and following a calamity of health events, to actively pursue my health again in the right way. I am constantly reminded that God has a master plan greater than we could ever imagine, and I am thankful for God's unending patience and love!
1 Comment
Mom
11/15/2014 08:35:28 am
I am also "happy" (thankful) that you are finally feeling better and able to get back into your active lifestyle We take so many things for granted here like good water and the ability to get a drink or wash our food with water from our sinks without boiling everything. It is amazing that people can accomplish what they do when the simplest thing like fixing a meal can take 2 to 3 times longer. I am so proud of you for caring about others and working to make a difference in peoples lives. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love you daughter!
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AuthorValerie Ellis, who is in alignment with the Black Lives Matter Movement and everyone whose life is impacted, now or before, by times of social injustice. Archives
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